If you haven’t been residing under a reasonably robust rock, then you’ve certainly caught concerning coverage of the classroom crisis across the country.

But the bad news becomes brutal, as we learn of unforeseen agricultural aftershocks our scholar shortage has coincidentally caused.

Throughout time, the traditional token of teacher appreciation has always been the beloved Malus domestica (aka… “apple”).

Fewer faithful educators means far fewer pupils presenting this time-tested tribute.

According to alarming analytics from the Washington Area Apple Association (WAAA), demand for the delicious fruit has dropped dramatically down over 23% this school season, causing the tree tender’s profits to plummet, while product piles up pathetically.

“With slower sales and reduced revenue,” orchard owner Abe Appleton announces, “I’m seriously struggling to sustain this critical crop cultivation.”

The Apple Emergency Task Force has dramatically declared this dire dilemma as: Code Red Delicious!

Agricultural analyst Amanda Acres warns of widening woes: “The devastating dilemma has driven heartbroken harvesters to dire destitution.”

Conveniently, caring communities all across America are creatively combating the crisis through culinary collaboration.

Benevolent bakers are supporting struggling suppliers by buying in bulk and preparing perfect pies.

Local baker, Betty Browning, is perpetually producing pastries. Betty boldly boasts. “If we bake it, they will buy!”

But battling this burden requires more than banking on baked Gravenstein goodness.

What cure will counteract this crushing calamity that is crudely cutting the coffers of cultivators?

Only an education expansion across America will enable pupils to present their perfectly polished produce, halting this horrible harvest havoc.

Perhaps this peculiar predicament will finally prompt politicians to properly prioritize the prodigious teaching profession.

Until that happens, the apple business will remain bruised and broken.