In an embarrassing turn of events, the Organization of Presumptive Science (OOPS) cancelled its annual Global Warming Summit due to wicked winter weather conditions.

An unprecedented polar vortex put a deep freeze on most travel and municipal services, while slamming sleet and snow at seasonally sunny sites around the world.

“We cannot believe how cold it is” remarks Leonardo Luciferro, “before today, Helvania’s lowest temperature ever recorded was 120 degrees Fahrenheit.”

“I know many people thought we would never freeze over, yet here we are, passing out ice water like there is no tomorrow.”

Despite the frigid, bone chilling cold, some people simply refuse to let the weather affect their way of life.

“I moved to Florda so I could barbecue every day” says Greg Griller, “and nothing is going to keep me from cooking my favorite food.”

Citizens are upset with the predictions prominent physicists presented to the population which have since proved phony.

We want our promised global warming,
and we want it now.